For awhile now I've been feeling really weighed down. With everything that has been going on with our Safe Families twins I am really nervous and anxious. I know that the chances are high that they are not being taken care of well, the people they live with are constantly high and possibly violent, it is never certain when food will come for them, and child protection has been getting involved in their situation. Through watching and witnessing all of this, my faith in God has not been as strong as it has been in the past. I have faith and trust in the Lord in my mind, but not in my heart.
Then, last night, I was really wanting to hear from God, and I don't think I ever actually prayed it but I thought about how for a while I prayed really hard to see visions from God through dreams (I never saw anything) and how it would be nice to hear something that night. Then, I fell asleep. Right before my alarm went off for school at 5:45, I had a dream. In this dream I was at a water park and I was going down the steep, straight up and down water slide, and somehow I didn't wait until the lifeguard said I could go down- so I got a running start and jumped down the slide. Instead of rushing down it, I was floating down the open air on the side of the slide on my mat, but to all of the other people at the water park who were watching me, it looked like I was falling (probably) to my death. However to me, the fall down went in slow motion and it was calm and smooth. I did some slow flips through the air, and I felt like a feather rocking back and forth- down... down... down... As I neared the ground, my body evened out and I was laying flat, facing the sky. I landed gently on my back on top of my mat on the grass, it felt like someone had gingerly layed me down and slid their arms out from under me- like a sleeping baby being laid in its crib. The lifeguard ran over to me to see if I was alive and okay. I was 100% unharmed. They were all shocked that I was okay and they still called an ambulance. When the lifeguard realized I was fine, he started yelling at me for scaring everyone and for not following the directions of the water park (I didn't wait until a lifeguard said it was okay to go down the slide). Tears slowly trickled down my face. Then I woke up. And when I woke up, this phrase jumped into my head- "on wings like angels". Yes, yes, I know that there is a phrase 'on wings like eagles', but that is not the phrase I heard- it was "on wings like angels". I was SO comforted by this because I knew that in my dream, angels were carrying me down from the slide. They were protecting me and keeping me safe in the command of the Lord. And now, I have PEACE. Peace in the assurance that the Lord my God is and all powerful warrior fighting for the love of His children. Just like He protected me in the dream, He is looking out for and fighting for and taking care of and loving the twins, no matter what the people around them are or are not doing. And now my spirit is lifted, my burdens taken. I have confidence in the name of Jesus Christ. God is good, God is love, God will speak to me, and God will fight for His children.
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